Lady Gaga is bravely opening up about her sexual assault experience.
Click inside to read what Lady Gaga shared…
“I was 19 years old, and I was working in the business, and a producer said to me, ‘Take your clothes off,’” Gaga recalled through tears. “And I said no. And I left, and they told me they were going to burn all of my music. And they didn’t stop. They didn’t stop asking me, and I just froze and I—I don’t even remember.”
Gaga has been very open while talking about her sexual abuse. She’s explained that she decided never to share the name of the producer because she never wants to face him again.
Also in the episode, Gaga explained how, years later, she went to the hospital for pain and numbness and was surprised when a psychiatrist came to see her instead of a medical doctor.
“First I felt full-on pain, then I went numb,” Gaga explained. “And then I was sick for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks after, and I realized that it was the same pain that I felt when the person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on a corner. At my parents’ house because I was vomiting and sick. Because I’d been being abused. I was locked away in a studio for months.”
Gaga also revealed that the pain led to a “psychotic break” that she was still going through when she won her Oscar in 2019 for A Star is Born.
“I had a total psychotic break, and for a couple years, I was not the same girl,” she said. “The way that I feel when I feel pain was how I felt after I was raped. I’ve had so many MRIs and scans where they don’t find nothing. But your body remembers.”
Gaga went on to say that recently she’s had to deal with impulses towards self-harm.
“You know why it’s not good to cut? You know why it’s not good to throw yourself against the wall? You know why it’s not good to self-harm? Because it makes you feel worse,” Gaga added. “You think you’re going to feel better because you’re showing somebody, ‘Look, I’m in pain.’ It doesn’t help.”
Gaga concluded on a positive note, explaining how after several years, she’s “learned all the ways to pull myself out of it. It all started to slowly change.”
The Me You Can’t See premieres on Apple TV+ on Friday, May 20.